Test tube babies should be just that: from a test tube

Our baby, Lucas, will be born any day now.  His due date is 2 days from the time or writing this.  The pregnancy has gone well, the mother has had virtually no nausea, cramps, swollen ankles, cravings, back problems, high blood pressure or any of the other myriad of problems that can affect a woman during pregnancy.

We are lucky - we know this.

Lucas was conceived at approximately 8.30am on Friday 6 November 2009. We know this because we had to use IVF, so calculate an hour or so after egg harvesting and sperm collection for the samples to get to the laboratory and for them to do their stuff.

The IVF process involved "ICSI" or "Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection"...which is when they select a sperm and inject it into the egg itself, as shown here:

The egg, now fertilised, is allowed to grow for a couple of days before being transferred to the womb in the hope that it will attach and continue to grow.

And then begins nine months of waiting, fear, hope, panic, excitement, hypochondria and incessant scans and tests....leading up to the most traumatic moment in most women's lives: labour.

Surely it would be far easier to keep the embryo out of the womb and let it grow in a petri dish? One could monitor the food and drink that is input to through the synthetic umbilical chord to ensure it has the best possible nutrition.

One could play recordings of the parents' voices so that the baby gets used to their voices, and even play recordings of their heartbeats to help it bond with those sounds.

One could play music or read the works of Tolstoy in Russian to the child, just to try and get those synapses connecting as early as possible.

And on due date, the baby is collected from the laboratory (sorry, 'birthing centre' as they should be called), or perhaps you could pay extra for home delivery?  

No trauma. No tearing. No breach-births. No C-sections. No pre-eclampsia. No 38 hour labours.

Science has allowed conception to improve but still relies on ancient, barbaric 'natural' methods for extracting babies from wombs.  Science needs to catch up.

Science needs to help women. 

Science needs to create a true 'test-tube baby'.